Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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