So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
