I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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