Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
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I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
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he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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