Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
should my penis look like a turkey
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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