Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
last night I used snow as a chaser
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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