I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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