let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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