I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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