i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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