Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he puts the penis in happiness.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
