I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
