Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize