Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
