her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
