I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
