I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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