just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we're making bets on your personal life
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
