Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
