Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
