i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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