Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
