You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
