I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
