So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
