She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
