the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
