How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
