Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
