We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
