It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
