I need to stop coming to work sober
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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