Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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