Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
