sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
