Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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