...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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