I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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