is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
