and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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