I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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