Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
