Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
