i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
