He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
