p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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