I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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