your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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