He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
