Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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