careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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