They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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