He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
