I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
