She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
