4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
